I love the work I do. It’s an honor to be invited into another mother’s life when she is feeling the most vulnerable. Typically people aren’t seeking my help if things are bumping along just fine. On the contrary, they are usually at their wits end and desperate for help. They are often sleep deprived and emotionally spent. Often times there is a lot of self-doubt and guilt that usually accompanies that because…..moms. One of the things I find myself doing over and over and over again in addition to recommending specific tools and techniques is to cheer on these fellow moms and to remind them that they are doing a great job. We simply do not hear that enough.
This scenario repeated itself a few weeks ago during a consultation visit with another mother. She needed some specific help with a few very common developmental behaviors. We discussed several strategies as well as a time line for each. She had already tried to implement some of what we had discussed, and this time around she was going to give her child and herself a little bit more time to redirect the behaviors. She was a very intuitive, very present, and very centered mother, and she was doing a great job. So I told her that.
I could hear the relief in her voice. I heard her exhale and release it like it was the heaviest load she had ever carried. And you know what? So many times it is. Our children are our most joyous and demanding responsibility, and sometimes that can get really heavy, especially if you feel like things are out of control and you can’t seem to get back on track. We finished our consultation, and now I could hear the resolve in her voice, the drive, the determination, the can-do spirit that lives in all of us. She was ready to get back to work, and I knew that she was going to be successful.
I felt so proud of this mother I had never met. I was proud of her for allowing herself to be vulnerable and asking someone else for help. That’s really big, don’t you think? I was proud of her for listening and for being open-minded, and I was proud of her for her commitment to the long term good of her child whatever that looked like. These mothers might be the ones seeking me out for tools and techniques, but I end up learning just as much as I hope they do. What I am reminded of over and over is that we must cheer each other on. We must be okay with seeking an “expert” opinion whether that is our best friend, pediatrician, or parenting coach. And we must realize every. single. day. that we are enough and that our best is always enough.
Go team moms!
Find the joy~