A Trick of the Trade

They say the third baby has to be the flexible one. Life revolves around the first baby, a little bit less so with the second, and by the third we’ve all thrown up our hands and given up. Never mind the 4th or 5th! Granted we are only 12 weeks in, but I’ve tried to honor Baby J’s ever evolving little schedule as much as I can. There is nothing worse than waking up a peacefully sleeping snuggled up baby and wheeling him through the rowdy raucous halls during preschool pick up. Save from pulling a stranger off the street to sit in my house while I go get my older two children, I will pretty much do ANYTHING to avoid having to wake him up. As you can imagine, if and when I do have to disrupt that sweet slumber, he’s not the happiest or most flexible little guy. Who can blame him? There’s also not much I can do to make any of the above mentioned any easier.

Baby J also gets moved around the house from place to place all day long. The guy is constantly on the go, but this doesn’t seem to bother him at all. In this sense, he is extremely flexible.  I owe that all to Maria Montessori. So much of my Montessori training drives the way I parent, and lately I’m especially grounded by what I’ve been taught regarding communicating with infants. Infants can sense and understand a profound amount of information. Montessori talked about the importance of telling babies what was going to happen in order to prepare them and to convey a sense of acknowledgment and respect. “I’m going to change your diaper now,” “I’m going to lay you on the couch for a minute, and I’ll be right back,” “Let’s go into the kitchen together. Come on!” Instead of just moving J from place to place, I’ve been taught to tell him where we are going and what we are doing, and I truly believe that makes such a big difference and contributes to his “go with the flow-ness.” I imagine he feels heard and acknowledged, and because of that, he trusts me.

Babies, especially the third ones, are moved around from one activity to the next faster than they can process. Even though they can’t “understand” our words, they can interpret our tone and our timing in an effort to put the pieces together in moments of change and transition. This creates for the child flexibility, trust, and a peaceful relationship with his environment. In such a hectic world, what better gift is there than that?

Find the joy-